Love poem to the infinite

I know you
you are in the rivulets
cascading down the side of the mountain:
adjoining in the streams under the patterned clouds
where filtered light falls upon the rushing waters
yes you are in the whispering stream
in it’s little pools teeming with life
and in the groaning river which finds it way to the sea
which falls into the deeps
where currents sway the strangely colored life
where mysteries lie in the darkness
where flash of scale and fin are barely seen
you rise up in the flickering beams of light
which penetrate the surface;
you are the torrent of sunlight
which falls upon the sea
you are the eyes within the sun
and the fiery angels leaping in it’s corona
and spangling stars in the darkness of space
I know, oh yes, if I could only say.




The Logos
According to Webster’s dictionary, “In Greek philosophy, (the Logos is) reason… the controlling principle of the universe, as being manifested by speech.” (Webster Unabridged).
According to S.E. Frost Jr., Philo, a Greek philosopher who lived about the time of Christ, said, “There was a God who was so pure and so far above everything in this world that He could not possibly come into contact with it… there were many powers which radiated from God as light might radiate from a lamp. One of these powers, which he called the “Logos”, was the creator of the world. This Logos, he taught, worked with matter and out of it created everything in the universe.” (Basic Teachings of the Great Philosophers).

Logos To Son
The Greek term Logos means word. In the New Testament it says that in the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God.
The Absolute God is inconceivable, unknowable. But there is a Divine Being, who is called the Word, who is with God. This Being is knowable and is intermediate between God and humanity. In the early Christian Church this Being became identified with Christ.
Thus the Greeks and the early Christians both proposed that there is a Being of some sort who was with God. This idea grew into various forms. In the Christian Church, the Absolute became known as the Father and Logos became known as the Son.

A New Church
In the Old Church the Father God became “Jehovah”, a kind of “man in the sky” god. A New Church would identify the Father as the Absolute and the Son as the Divine Being. But these are not two gods. The Absolute comes first and is properly called God. The Divine Being descends from that and is a fragment of that. There are those who believe that Jesus is the Divine Being (the Logos, the Celestial Christ itself), but the Divine Being existed before Jesus was born and still exists now as the Celestial Christ.


In Hinduism there is a similar concept, in which there is an Absolute, called Brahman, and a creator god, called Brahma. But in that system Brahma is a demigod, a replaceable being who rose to that position after millennium of effort.
Ramakrishna, however, presents a concept more similar to the idea of Celestial Christ, of a Divine Being who arises out of the Absolute. To him the Being is the Form of the Absolute, but it is a passing form, which dissolves into the Absolute at the end of the universe.
His idea is a little different from the Neo-Christian idea presented here, where the Divine Being is accorded even more respect. The Divine Being is Eternal. Jesus said, “There is no way to the Father but by me.” It was the Celestial Christ speaking through him, saying the only way we can truly approach the Absolute is by the grace of the Divine Being, the Celestial Christ.

Quotes; Ramakrishna

The idea of a Divine Being and an Absolute was spoken of by the Indian philosopher Ramakrishna (mid 19th century). He uses the terms Personal God and Impersonal God(Brahman).

“The Infinite transforms itself into the finite and appears before the worshiper as God with form. God reveals himself … as an embodied Person.” (Thus spake Sri Ramakrishna)
“Many are the names of God and infinite forms through which he may be approached.”
Ramakrishna’s Vision of Christ
“Rays of light corning from the (painting of) Mother and Child entered his heart and began to change radically the ideas stored there … His devotion to the gods and goddesses were chased into hiding and new thoughts were displacing them.” from Visions of Sri Ramakrishna

“God with form and God without form are not two different beings.” Teachings of Sri RK p.8
“God is formless and God is with form too, and He is that which transcends both form and formlessness. He alone can say what He is.” Teachings of Sri RK p.5
Ramakrishna’s books were published in India without publisher’s name, date, and sometimes page numbers. The books are available at the Vedanta monasteries in So. Calif.


Celestial Christ is another name for the Divine Being.
The Divine Being is a fragment of the Absolute God. The Divine Being is between humanity and the Absolute.
The Absolute God is unknowable and unattainable.
The Absolute is not a being.
The Celestial Christ is the Eternal Form of the Absolute.
The Absolute cannot properly be called formless or void, it is called inconceivable.
The Divine Being is the Source and Creator of all universes.
The Divine Being is the source of all human souls. No person can surpass the Divine Being.
Anyone who thinks they have surpassed the Divine Being is in illusion by Intermediate Beings.
The Divine Being is twelve-dimensional and cannot be conceived of by the three-dimensional mind.
The universe with its Forms can enter a resting state, but it will always return, and we will return with it.
The true meaning of Christianity is acceptance of the Divine Being, the Celestial Christ.
All gods by any name are all parts of the Divine Being.
The Christian “Father” and “Son” may also be taken as symbols for the Absolute and the Divine Being.
“There is no way to the Father but by me” means there is no way to the Absolute except by the Celestial Christ.
Any description of the Divine Being is inadequate and sectarian.

What is God like? This is one of the greatest dilemmas for the spiritual student. Which description is correct? Is God a personal being that cares about us, as Christianity says, or is God an impersonal, formless void, as some mysticism says? Well, why not literally accept both? This is not meant to be vaguely open minded. It is possible to have a deep realization that there is a divine being, rising up out of an inconceivable absolute background. This solution answers the question in a very specific way.
Some philosophies have hinted at this system, but they usually do not have enough regard for the Divine Being, who has sometimes been presented as an inferior demiurge or demigod. But there is a perfect Divine Being that is the face and form of the Absolute.
The Logos
According to Webster’s dictionary, “In Greek philosophy, (the Logos is) reason… the controlling principle of the universe, as being manifested by speech.” (Webster Unabridged).
According to S.E. Frost Jr., Philo, a Greek philosopher who lived about the time of Christ, said, “There was a God who was so pure and so far above everything in this world that He could not possibly come into contact with it… there were many powers which radiated from God as light might radiate from a lamp. One of these powers, which he called the “Logos”, was the creator of the world. This Logos, he taught, worked with matter and out of it created everything in the universe.” (Basic Teachings of the Great Philosophers).

Christina Andrea Nelson


Ghost..little lady in the hall

II was taking care of my sick mother in her Leisure World condo, and I was sleeping on the couch in her living room. I got up in the middle of the night to check on her, and I entered the long hall in the dark. As I looked down the hall, I was bewildered to see a small figure, a very little woman dressed oddly in mismatched, colorful clothing, like various flowers and prints on a blouse and skirt And she was very distinct, solid looking and glowing, or solid light, if that makes any sense. It was quite clear this was not natural, as there was no one in the house but me and Mom, and Mom was bedridden. It just wasn’t possible, this had to be a spirit. It wasn’t really threatening looking (other than it was a ghost). I was alarmed and wanted to avoid it, so I dodged sideways into the guest bathroom and turned on the very bright light. Then I had the uh-oh feeling it had seen me and was coming up the hall. I was facing a large mirror, and could not see anyone behind me, but I very distinctly could FEEL her run her hand across my back. At this point I was not really frightened, as her touch seemed affectionate. And then she was gone.
I couldn’t think of any females in the family who had died other than my grandmother, and it was said the she was quite crazy. I came to believe it was her.image

Ghosts, Aliens, and the Djinn


imageimageDid you ever wish you were more Intuitive? just let your imagination go, believe your own mind. When I saw the Little Lady in the hall I wondered what she is. My first thought was she is my grandmother, who had serious dementia in the end. But she wasn’t so tiny, and that costume, it’s not even a Swedish historic costume. My second thought was maybe I caught an Alien leaving mothers room, and it quickly disguised itself. That is not unknown, they have appeared as squirrels with big  eyes when caught. And mom had seen a UFO, a golden disk, a little while ago. Or maybe it was both. My grandmother was sitting by my mothers bed, (in spirit) for months, as mom was very ill. Years later, I was drowsing and was imagining a woman with a long white dress at the foot of my bed. Then I wondered why was I imagining that? She was familiar. Who was she? Then I remembered a radio interview I heard about Djinn, genies. Supposedly some people have one. With a jolt I thought she was a Djinn. They can disguise themselves any way they want, maybe she was the Little Lady. That was kind of a jolt, as they can be helpers, or they can be dangerous. 

ORTEGA mystic trees

I like the trees at the mountain camp too. 
 the live oaks 
gracious givers of shade and acorns. 
in the grove beyond the camp, 

I couldn’t sleep for two nights
it’s hard to sleep in the mountain camp
it’s very cold and dusty
laid awake all night annoyed,
before the dawn,
wakefulness pulled aside the layers
I forgot how close to the inferno I am
it’s been covered over lightly
the starry vortex.
My god, I’m full of stars
a comet emerges and
passes invisibly behind my head
with a whooshing sound. 

ETHERIC DOUBLES In Boulder Colorado


I was living in Ann’s house in Boulder, Colorado. She was in a group called Eckankar, or ECK. I never joined the group but I had the opportunity to study a lot of the literature in her house. The group concentrates on astral or spiritual traveling. Some very interesting things happened in that house. One afternoon as I was walking down the hall I thought I saw a woman with long blonde hair sitting in the hallway out of the comer my eye, but when I looked again, there was only a backpack. Well, I hesitated a little to tell Ann, she was a very busy schoolteacher, and I was housekeeper and nanny to her toddler. But since she was in Eck, and spiritually inclined, I decided to tell her about it. And she replied, “Well I’m glad you decided to tell me about that, since something happened to me too. I woke up early one morning, and I saw a woman with long blonde hair walk past my bedroom door and into the bathroom. Naturally I thought it was you. I waited a long time but she never came out again. So I got up and looked in your room, and you were still asleep.”

A few days later I woke up early, went past Ann’s door, noticed she was still in bed asleep, and went into the bathroom. A moment later I came out and the room was empty, the bed was made, and there was no one in the house. She couldn’t have possibly gotten out that fast. A few weeks later, Ann and a friend went out on a rainy night to the grocery store. I heard the car drive up as they returned. I was in my bedroom at the end of the hall, but I heard the front door open, I heard the girls chattering and laughing and the rustle of the grocery bags. Then there was a long profound silence. For ten min-utes I lay there wondering what was going on. Not a single sound. Curious, I got up and went out to look. Just as I reached the living room, the front door opened and in they came, with the grocery bags. “What’s going on?” I asked them, “I thought I heard you drive up ten minutes ago.” “Well,” they said, “we did but we’ve been sitting in the car waiting for the rain to let up.”

WILDMAN, POET, Lew Gardner part two

ImagePicture, PARISE and Lew Gardner, Casey, at camp 
Parise is a friend of Lew’s. Let me rephrase that. Parise is Lew’s goddess. She also lived at Ortega Campground. Although Lew praises her untiringly, he also warned me against meeting her while she was pregnant. With good reason, I soon learned. 
She and her husband Casey and their toddler daughter Maya lived in a big comfortable family tent next to Lew, sharing the same plot. Parise is a rather
pale fair woman of thirty with fine and limp brown hair, deceptively quiet and introverted, a little rounded from pregnancy. Her husband Casey is a wonderful looking part Indian man, seven years younger than her, who passed his large dark eyes on to their daughter.


I was visiting Lew when Parise arrived home at the camp. “Stay out of her way now,”he advised. Parise took one look at me, glared, pulled Lew aside hissing something at him. “Uh, well, I have some chores to do,” he told me. He baby-sits long hours, does most of the chores, and apparently is not allowed to chose his own friends, and pays half the lot rent as well.
Parise is quietly bright, nature oriented, and a bit of a shaman I think. She controls the whole bunch of them – except Casey’s tough-minded mother.
I was trying to make headway with Parise by washing the camps morning dishes. When she came home she snapped at Lew and scowled at me. “You have to put a towel over the dish rack or flies land on them,” Lew reported to me. He and Parise have known each other for years. She more or less owns him. I came to call her Empress Parise.


I just don’t know anyone kinder or meeker than Lew. Since I am mild mannered myself we spend all day doing an after you Alphonse routine. I mean, we can hardly get through a door because we can’t decide who goes first and he won’t take a cracker from my kitchen without asking for elaborate permission.


1914 – Rasputin was a free man until he met Empress Alexandra of Russia in the early 1900’s. He captivated her by saving her hemophiliac sons’ life and she captivated him. He moved into the palace over objections of the Emperor and his ministers, but the Empress overruled them. Rasputin, a braying jackass, according to some, a master magician with piercing eyes, smelled like a jackass too, altemately healing or seducing with his considerable hypnotic powers. Until death do us part. There was no way to separate Rasputin and his Empress short of murder and murdered were they all.


Lew certainly intimidated people with his weird costumes and bellowing voice. You could hear him laugh a block away. If you went out in public with him he was sure to embarrass you at least three times. However he was well washed…


Meanwhile up at the camp the new managers were making all the tent people move into trailers and pouring truckloads of gravel over the loose dust. Parise and Casey bought a large trailer, which was like a small home inside, very comfortable. Lew bought an old ramshackle trailer, deserted and full of junk, all he could afford, but he and I cleaned it out fastidiously and he moved in. It had two small rooms and a tiny bathroom. Nothing worked. Not the plumbing or electricity, or even the front door. It was difficult to open or close and didn’t lock. He left it hanging open, it didn’t matter. He moved in his bookshelves, sleeping bag, and a long electric cord from outside, a little heater, a lamp to read by, and the coffee maker was all he needed. He was living in luxury, in his opinion. 


I often slept in the little back room of the trailer when I was visiting camp. A heap of blankets and a small heater kept me cozy. It was terribly sweet room, big enough for the cot and the narrow bookshelf only. But in the glow of the little lamp at night, surrounded by dark oaks and starlight, rustle of little creatures and leaves, it was a little mini-vacation each time. 


Anywhere we were, Lew and I talked for hours and when we visited Nasser at his sandwich shop overlooking Dana Beach, with a wonderful panoramic view of the ocean, the three of us sat around a table during quiet times between meals and talked for hours, philosophy and religion, poetry and literature, we never ran out of material. Reluctantly Nasser would go back to work when the lunch crowd arrived. 


Lew had been a carpenter by profession. He built a wide platform porch outside his trailer to combat the dust and mud, with an old carpet and a couch on it; it became his morning yoga and meditation spot, as well as a visitor center. A tattered awning spread out over it, protecting it from sun and rain. A fire pit with a round stone wall by the platform completed the picture. He loved to build a fire everyday. Fragrant wood smoke rose, and several chairs appeared around it including the easy chair where he sat and wrote for hours a day. It was nonetheless a hard life there for the mothers with children and it was difficult for me, walking with a cane. The bathroom was located hundreds of yards away from the trailer in the visitor center, across weeds, gravel and dust. All cooking was done on a hot plate, but Lew didn’t bother to cook because as he ate every evening with Parise and Casey. I didn’t generally go with him because of tension with Parise … I can’t eat any normal food anyway because of my health diet and allergies. Parise never accepted me as a part of Lew’s life. It took me a while to realize she was very jealous of Lew’s time and attention.
Lew had his social security check to live on as well as occasional carpentry jobs. He is a very content human being. That is why I was so amazed when he chose to tell me where he was during those weeks that he was missing.
“In jail.” He told me simply.
“What!” I responded thunderstruck. “What on earth for?” “Oh, it’s a long story.” He answered.
“Well? ” I said, “What? Vagrancy?”
“Huh? No, but maybe that’s part of it.”
I finally managed to get it out of him … he was charged with burglary. “Well I know you didn’t do anything like that. What happened?”


He was in the habit of walking in a Laguna Hills neighborhood, carrying the baby, Maya, up to her grandmother’s house. One day he was walking alone and cops drove up and grabbed him, hauled him up to a local house and paraded him in front of the old lady there. It seems she called the police reporting that a man in a plaid shirt and black backpack had been in her house and stolen gold coins and jewelry. Then, she identified him in a lineup, AFTER the police brought him to her house and asked if that was him. That was it. Total and complete evidence against him. Her word, but no gold coins. Of course he had no such valuables in his possession. Poor Lew. He is such a helpless character. The police dragged him off to the local jail and there he stayed for three weeks, with an absurdly high bail, not wanting to bother family and friends, assuming nobody he knew would have that much money to spare. 


His worried family and friends finally tracked him down and an old family friend came up with the bail. One of Lew’s sons is a policeman, married to a lawyer, and they were outraged at the flimsy circumstances of his arrest. Everybody was outraged. A letter-writing campaign was started. The district attorney’s office reported they had never received such a blitz of glowing, positive letters in defense, 32 in all. It is my opinion that the lady’s charge against him was a complete fraud. She had probably seen the oddly dressed old man walking in the neighborhood and either decided he must have done it or she deliberately framed him, who knows, maybe she’s senile, or maybe she did it for the insurance on the valuables …


Anyway, I drove him around for months to court dates and lawyer visits. It finally came to an end when the charges were dropped. It wasn’t too much later when Parise and Casey decided to move to a farm in Idaho and Lew went with them.Parise is an enigma – unfortunately I only saw her during an uncomfortable pregnancy, and in a tug-of-war over Lew’s time and attention. She is not a mean person. I have observed her many times meditatively tending to the potted garden around her home, affectionately caring for Maya and the new baby. She forms deep friendships with women – if they fit into her life. I met her parents on a couple of occasions – her attractive blonde mother and her father, a quiet little man with a white beard, and was amused to learn they were professional card dealers. Parise is deep and withdrawn. She has an intriguing aura of mystery and one expects her to start cooking up herbal brews at any moment. She speaks little. She has a natural aura of control and plays Empress Alexandra to Lew’s Rasputin.