Love poem to the infinite

I know you
you are in the rivulets
cascading down the side of the mountain:
adjoining in the streams under the patterned clouds
where filtered light falls upon the rushing waters
yes you are in the whispering stream
in it’s little pools teeming with life
and in the groaning river which finds it way to the sea
which falls into the deeps
where currents sway the strangely colored life
where mysteries lie in the darkness
where flash of scale and fin are barely seen
you rise up in the flickering beams of light
which penetrate the surface;
you are the torrent of sunlight
which falls upon the sea
you are the eyes within the sun
and the fiery angels leaping in it’s corona
and spangling stars in the darkness of space
I know, oh yes, if I could only say.




The Logos
According to Webster’s dictionary, “In Greek philosophy, (the Logos is) reason… the controlling principle of the universe, as being manifested by speech.” (Webster Unabridged).
According to S.E. Frost Jr., Philo, a Greek philosopher who lived about the time of Christ, said, “There was a God who was so pure and so far above everything in this world that He could not possibly come into contact with it… there were many powers which radiated from God as light might radiate from a lamp. One of these powers, which he called the “Logos”, was the creator of the world. This Logos, he taught, worked with matter and out of it created everything in the universe.” (Basic Teachings of the Great Philosophers).

Logos To Son
The Greek term Logos means word. In the New Testament it says that in the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God.
The Absolute God is inconceivable, unknowable. But there is a Divine Being, who is called the Word, who is with God. This Being is knowable and is intermediate between God and humanity. In the early Christian Church this Being became identified with Christ.
Thus the Greeks and the early Christians both proposed that there is a Being of some sort who was with God. This idea grew into various forms. In the Christian Church, the Absolute became known as the Father and Logos became known as the Son.

A New Church
In the Old Church the Father God became “Jehovah”, a kind of “man in the sky” god. A New Church would identify the Father as the Absolute and the Son as the Divine Being. But these are not two gods. The Absolute comes first and is properly called God. The Divine Being descends from that and is a fragment of that. There are those who believe that Jesus is the Divine Being (the Logos, the Celestial Christ itself), but the Divine Being existed before Jesus was born and still exists now as the Celestial Christ.


In Hinduism there is a similar concept, in which there is an Absolute, called Brahman, and a creator god, called Brahma. But in that system Brahma is a demigod, a replaceable being who rose to that position after millennium of effort.
Ramakrishna, however, presents a concept more similar to the idea of Celestial Christ, of a Divine Being who arises out of the Absolute. To him the Being is the Form of the Absolute, but it is a passing form, which dissolves into the Absolute at the end of the universe.
His idea is a little different from the Neo-Christian idea presented here, where the Divine Being is accorded even more respect. The Divine Being is Eternal. Jesus said, “There is no way to the Father but by me.” It was the Celestial Christ speaking through him, saying the only way we can truly approach the Absolute is by the grace of the Divine Being, the Celestial Christ.

Quotes; Ramakrishna

The idea of a Divine Being and an Absolute was spoken of by the Indian philosopher Ramakrishna (mid 19th century). He uses the terms Personal God and Impersonal God(Brahman).

“The Infinite transforms itself into the finite and appears before the worshiper as God with form. God reveals himself … as an embodied Person.” (Thus spake Sri Ramakrishna)
“Many are the names of God and infinite forms through which he may be approached.”
Ramakrishna’s Vision of Christ
“Rays of light corning from the (painting of) Mother and Child entered his heart and began to change radically the ideas stored there … His devotion to the gods and goddesses were chased into hiding and new thoughts were displacing them.” from Visions of Sri Ramakrishna

“God with form and God without form are not two different beings.” Teachings of Sri RK p.8
“God is formless and God is with form too, and He is that which transcends both form and formlessness. He alone can say what He is.” Teachings of Sri RK p.5
Ramakrishna’s books were published in India without publisher’s name, date, and sometimes page numbers. The books are available at the Vedanta monasteries in So. Calif.


Celestial Christ is another name for the Divine Being.
The Divine Being is a fragment of the Absolute God. The Divine Being is between humanity and the Absolute.
The Absolute God is unknowable and unattainable.
The Absolute is not a being.
The Celestial Christ is the Eternal Form of the Absolute.
The Absolute cannot properly be called formless or void, it is called inconceivable.
The Divine Being is the Source and Creator of all universes.
The Divine Being is the source of all human souls. No person can surpass the Divine Being.
Anyone who thinks they have surpassed the Divine Being is in illusion by Intermediate Beings.
The Divine Being is twelve-dimensional and cannot be conceived of by the three-dimensional mind.
The universe with its Forms can enter a resting state, but it will always return, and we will return with it.
The true meaning of Christianity is acceptance of the Divine Being, the Celestial Christ.
All gods by any name are all parts of the Divine Being.
The Christian “Father” and “Son” may also be taken as symbols for the Absolute and the Divine Being.
“There is no way to the Father but by me” means there is no way to the Absolute except by the Celestial Christ.
Any description of the Divine Being is inadequate and sectarian.

What is God like? This is one of the greatest dilemmas for the spiritual student. Which description is correct? Is God a personal being that cares about us, as Christianity says, or is God an impersonal, formless void, as some mysticism says? Well, why not literally accept both? This is not meant to be vaguely open minded. It is possible to have a deep realization that there is a divine being, rising up out of an inconceivable absolute background. This solution answers the question in a very specific way.
Some philosophies have hinted at this system, but they usually do not have enough regard for the Divine Being, who has sometimes been presented as an inferior demiurge or demigod. But there is a perfect Divine Being that is the face and form of the Absolute.
The Logos
According to Webster’s dictionary, “In Greek philosophy, (the Logos is) reason… the controlling principle of the universe, as being manifested by speech.” (Webster Unabridged).
According to S.E. Frost Jr., Philo, a Greek philosopher who lived about the time of Christ, said, “There was a God who was so pure and so far above everything in this world that He could not possibly come into contact with it… there were many powers which radiated from God as light might radiate from a lamp. One of these powers, which he called the “Logos”, was the creator of the world. This Logos, he taught, worked with matter and out of it created everything in the universe.” (Basic Teachings of the Great Philosophers).

Christina Andrea Nelson


ORTEGA mystic trees

I like the trees at the mountain camp too. 
 the live oaks 
gracious givers of shade and acorns. 
in the grove beyond the camp, 

I couldn’t sleep for two nights
it’s hard to sleep in the mountain camp
it’s very cold and dusty
laid awake all night annoyed,
before the dawn,
wakefulness pulled aside the layers
I forgot how close to the inferno I am
it’s been covered over lightly
the starry vortex.
My god, I’m full of stars
a comet emerges and
passes invisibly behind my head
with a whooshing sound. 


ImageSEDONA ARIZONA 1978 Malessa was occupying a rented house in Sedona at the time that I knew her. I was attending one of her sessions; she was standing in front of a small group of seated spiritual students in the living room, with her arms upraised, in a flowing white gown, and she was speaking in a loud voice, channeling divine beings, that is, allowing them to speak through her. “I am the King of Unification,” she cried, “and all I see is united in the I AM, I am speaking for the I AM. There is no King in Reality only light intelligence reacting to Myself, as I AM. This is the manifestation of the King of Unification, ALL ONE.” She could go on for forty-five minutes.

Malessa was an attractive woman, probably in her early forties then, with short blond tipped hair. I learned that she had been an actress earlier in her life. She had a small and loyal following, which accompanied her in her wanderings across the country. Her constant companions were a pale, slim younger man, and a neat, trim older woman, petite and gray-haired, called Sister Urelia. On meeting and talking to Malessa, I realized she was not a ditzy or spacey phony, but a woman of real strength and intellect. She really believed in everything she was doing. There was a wonderful aura in her sessions, one could almost see the light realms of the angels. 

Malessa is so much more than she seems at first. Like many modem women in spiritual life, she is very flamboyant. And like Madame Blavatsky, is rejected by most of society, but these are actually high chiefs among women, and I feel lucky to have met her.

Malessa’s message seemed to be mostly about divine beings shedding light on the Earth and uplifting it. This light is emanated by Christ, who she calls Sananda, and his associates.

I found an old newsletter in my files from 1978, which is 28 pages long, containing an account of the speeches and writings of Malessa and Urelia. This document is a treasure. It is a very intense, visionary piece of work that reveals Malessa’s high spiritual status.

Malessa described an event which she had been through, called the Open-ing of the Chakras to a small group of people, at which I was present. She said she had experienced circles of softly colored light opening in her head. I believed her and knew what she was talking about because I had experi-enced something like that.Sedona is a beautiful small town in the middle of Arizona, in a high altitude desert area, at 5000 feet. It is very dry, very hot in the summer with sparse vegetation and surrounded by red rock mountains. New Age practitioners consider Sedona to be a natural spiritual vortex.


Malessa had moved into a beautiful architectural home loaned by a fol-lower, on the far side of Oak Creek. The sparkling creek was very shallow and wide at this point, lined by a narrow oak forest. The house sat in splen-did isolation, the only building there. She held her Sunday services at the house, followed by vegetarian banquets.

Here are some excerpts from the newsletter of 1978. Malessa was really at the height of her spiritual journey. She refers to Christ as Sananda. “Sananda’s divine complement is Mary Melchizedec (another name for Malessa)-All Harmony. I want this known. This from the Father … She is also the radiant vibration of all love on ~his planet. Mary is an aspect of God.”

Malessa was a channel, but Urelia was the visionary. Malessa was the leader who spoke for the angels but Urelia could see them. “Sister Urelia speaks; ‘When I arrived a half hour ago, they were already assembling – all of the hierarchy – all of the Interplanetary conference members … they are arrayed in their royal robes. They seemed to be very serious yet in an attitude of rejoicing at the same time. The Seraphim and the Cherubim have come in and with them they have brought a very bright light.’ “



“Sister Urelia, under instruction from Sananda, stayed with Malessa throughout the period from March 24th to April 7th, and recorded the changes that took place thru both herself and Malessa (Goddess Crystal).”

“Urelia speaks: “I wish to give a description of the Interplanetary meeting this night. It has been moved to the Crystal Temple, and we have witnessed the fusion with the four Marys, and we have witnessed the mar-riage of Sananda and Crystal fused into one.””This has been a very important step in the raising of the consciousness and for the emancipation of mankind – the fusion of male and female into one.”I do not know the present location of Malessa or even if she is still alive. She was not in good health when I knew her over twenty years ago. She must have been born in the mid 1930s.

My Life in the TEMPLE

ImageKRISHNA TEMPLE 1973 LAGUNA BEACH I’m sure there is still some confusion about what went on in the Krishna Temple in the public’s mind. Parents were terrified by wild tales of orgies or whatever. But I call it a wondrous experience and would like to describe it. My initiated name was Kriya Shakti.


The most beautiful thing in the temple was the altar. The altar at the Laguna temple was set up on a stage, with the Deities on it. The Deities were statues of Hindu saints or gods. Our small ones were of the saints Chaitanya and Nityananda, shining brass with their arms upraised, dressed in their elaborate silk clothing which was highly adorned with silver and gold braid, sequins, complex trims and tiny flowers. Creating these costumes is one of the specialized Temple duties which kept many seamstresses busy all day. The little Dieties would then be surrounded by huge vases of flowers, roses, carnations, everything, garlands of leaves and flowers hung an the wall behind, huge pots of greenery on the sides, a large oil painting of the saints on the wall behind, framed photos of the gurus on the steps leading up to the stage in front, and finished off with little brass pots of streaming incense. The whole effect was otherworldly and heavenly, with the fragrance of incense and hundreds of flowers, and spotlights highlighted the multitudes of colors and streams of incense smoke. 


The main American misunderstanding about the Temple is that this is some modern cultist invention; as a matter of fact the religion is thousands of years old, one of India’s main sects. The rules and traditions of the temple are venerable. I can’t say that modern American kids managed to uphold the extreme renunciation of the days of old, but it was quite renounced. The first requirement was celibacy, very strictly upheld. There was no drugs, alcohol, cigarettes or even caffeine allowed. And of course it was vegetarian. My strongest memory is of rising before dawn. We got up at three or four in the morning. We chanted privately and separately on our necklace of beads.The Temple day started early: we awoke between three and four in the morning. That was a magical hour; the California pre-dawn could be almost balmy, the Laguna Beach temple would be suffused in the dark gray of a seacoast overcast morning. If it was warm we would step outside to the first hour of solitary chanting of the day. That was a fine hour, alone in the gray mist, muttering the ancient incantations. The Temple was on a terrace overlooking the ocean, and the soft purr of the surf could be heard below.


But soon, fIrst morning duties called, the cooks would be busy in the kitchen, and the girls would begin to string and arrange flowers. There was always a kind of cheeriness, the kitchen lights turned on against the dark pre-dawn, the fragrances of the flowers and cooking. Three merry girls would spread a madras cloth on the kitchen floor, giggling and quibbling, string the flower garlands used to decorate the deities and guru’s pictures and statues.


I often strung flowers with Mryta Pria, who, we found out later, was between nervous breakdowns. So was I, I suppose. We really made a fIne pair, half in and half out of reality. We shared conversations and jokes completely unintelligible to others. It is not so much the quaint setting that I remember so well, but the extraordinary state of mind I was in at the time. I joined the temple in 1973, ten years after the early communes and drugs of the sixties. My mind was alternately in good or bad shape, but I think the intense spirituality and restrictions of the temple put me into a kind of order, a deep rooted spirituality that eventually led to my becoming fully balanced …. but things were really wild at first. At dawn there was the fIrst group chant of the day, called the morning artik. This was the most intense moment of the day. We stood on the wooden temple floor, facing the Deities, men on the right, women on the left, and would sing the spiritual chants in unison. It was ecstatic. The alluring melodies could make one’s hair stand on end; the shining altar seemed full of spiritual light. The only accompaniment was the little brass fInger-cymbals, which make a tinkling bell like sound. I was sent from the Laguna Temple to the L.A. Temple. I remained in the Temple almost two years altogether, then suddenly dropped out and returned to Laguna where I stayed with a friend for a while.


I wasTemple seamstress at the Laguna temple, considered a soft job, I didn’t have to go out to the book selling duty at the airport, thanks to an easygoing temple president. I was not in strong health even then, and he let me off. Mryta Pria’s stay came to an end when she had a breakdown and attacked a holy painting with a knife. Her parents showed up and took her away.






POLK STREET: 1976 After the opening of the Chakras- The primary series of visions took place in a San Francisco hotel on Polk Street and lasted for nine months. The hotel was cheap; I was almost penniless. The room was plagued with mice and roaches, and there was pandemonium in the halls. But I was completely engaged in the visionary experience, and it went on day and night. Most of the visions I had were topical, progressive revelations of the metaphysical structure of the universe. There were about five kinds of visions. The daily fare was a dim waking vision. I would be awake in a quiet room, looking inward toward inner space, with my eyes open and focused on a wall or ceiling, and seeing figures or diagrams of a struc-ture, generally becoming forgetful but not entirely unaware of my surroundings. More rare was the deep trance, where I would fall into deep unconsciousness and have full scale brilliantly colored visions. Then there is the full waking vision, where, wide-awake and sitting up, I would see a supernatural figure standing there. There are light sleep dream visions and deep sleep dream visions, and some experiences which would count as genuine astral traveling to higher planes.
On Polk Street there was the Dawn Horse bookstore, owned by the guru Bubba Free John. A film was showing there about the Tibetan guru Chogyam Trungpa. After the film was over there was the usual rustling of seats and people leaving. The door to my left was opened and the light from the hall came flooding into the still darkened room.
I could see the light out of the comer of my eye. The light started getting brighter and brighter but I didn’t turn my head to look at it. It became so bright that I began to realize that something unusual was going on. Then, out of the side of my head, I could see the doorway quite clearly. It was full of brilliant white light and there was a figure standing in it. It filled the whole doorway, wearing a flowing, glowing, white robe, and had long white hair and a beard, with a small round pink face in the middle of it. I was really quite amazed. The vision faded, and I left the bookstore without saying anything to anyone.
Returning from the market once I went up the stairs and down the hall to my room. The simple-minded caretaker was kneeling on the hall rug ripping the bottom of a large easy chair with a knife. Finding this unusual, I stopped to observe. In the cotton stuffing, lying on the floor, were twenty or thirty newborn mice. Cotton balls were squirming and turning into mice, and mice were turning into cotton balls. It was remarkable. I returned to my room.

THE CLEAR LAKE- another Starbucks vision

    I was sitting in the coffeeshop trying to think of a metaphor for the absolute. I was trying to think of something absolutely invisible, absolutely still, and I thought of floating in a clear lake. Then suddenly I felt like I was floating in a crystal clear lake, brilliant clarity all around me, all at peace… the coffeeshop was still there, the big windows, the overstuffed easy chairs, the people at the tables, but I was floating in the bright and motionless lake.
    The Absolute is beneath, above, beyond everything, but it is here, just behind everything. It is undisturbed by our little actions. It had seen it all 67 billion times (the number of humans since prehistoric times), it undisturbed and unmoved by our greatest actions. It is not a man in the sky, spying on us, angry at most everything we do. It is the ocean of peace.
    Universes have come and gone within it. Universes arise from it, like Atlantis rising, the forms appear out of the mist. Galaxies and palaces and appear, faint outlines of mountains are seen on the horizon.
    It has seen it all come and go. That is not to say it does not care. It is the absolute caring, the Ocean of knowledge, motionless and invisible, the non-interfering and unseen.
       Over the Silent Ocean, light slowly appears from the mist. A faint sun rises, a pale orb on the deep blue horizon, and it rises so slowly, it grows to a brilliant blaze. What is happening, what is born! Oh it’s full of universes, it’s light reveals emerging galaxies, multitudes of stars and suns. Great wheels of light illuminate the darkened sea. The Silent Sun fills the stars with it’s own light. The revealed sun is now blinding, hidden in the center of universes.